The Skeletons In The Closet

The things that we hide away are sometimes the things that hold us back. 

“If only people knew the truth about me I’m sure they wouldn’t think I was such a nice guy” is a phrase I’ve used several times in my life. 

There is a fine line between paying the consequences for your previous actions versus letting your previous mistakes and behaviours destroy your future. However, if you are cowering away from making any noise because you fear the skeletons might come out then you are in big trouble. 

To be the authentic you in all situations requires years of practice and dedication and often comes with a catalogue of errors that have caused much pain and suffering for yourself and others. Some mistakes are so damaging that some men will never fully recover and reach their potential because of the attachment to their past mistakes which leave scars that sit deep underneath their skin. The fear of people finding out about the old you can cripple you from ever really creating the new you. 

It’s similar to a life sentence, trapped within the pain and misery of your past. The sentence lasts as long as you allow it. It is not the mistakes that cause the feeling of shame, but the fact they have been brushed under the carpet and could creep back out at any time that is the real cause of your misery.

Social media is the perfect place to create the desired image and impression that you would like your friends and family to see of you. It’s quite easy to manipulate the audiences view of you via social media outlets and is something that can often be done without too much thought and effort. But how many of us truly show the world our ugly side? 

Guilty. 

When you ‘fake it’ you are only contributing towards the fear that your cover may be blown and your image destroyed. I experienced this in my late twenties. You would have thought my life was perfect. The opposite strategy has proved far more effective. I have a past, some of it very ugly. I experience huge downers, anxiety and find creating trusting relationships the biggest challenge in life. Not everything is good all of the time. I have plenty of great things to share with the world and my life is good and I choose to share the majority of my positive situations. Some of my past actions cause me deep regret and pain but I am also in a position where I hold my hands up and openly say I have a troubled history. Nobody can judge me unless they are perfect and I know this cannot be true. Everybody has a past. 

Everybody has good in them too. If you can accept the past is what you’ve done, not who you are then it can help build the future. It takes a strong man to create change. Some of the nicest people I know have the ugliest past. I have great friends who have been alcoholics, drug addicts, bullies, fighters and criminals. I also have friends who have tried to take their own life because of their suffering of past actions. 

If you know yourself then everybody else’s opinion of you can get to fuck. Battle scars are part of someones unique character and without a history of mistakes there would be no reason for any man to make change. So embrace it, embrace your mistakes and use your mistakes to build your future.