The Decision

Any man who needs convincing of change is unlikely to see a successful outcome. 


The desire to change must come from within. It’s easy to say you want new outcomes, but the reality is that it’s much easier to stay in a large ditch than it is to dig your fingers in and start the climb. The deeper the ditch the harder it is to climb out, and the longer you have been there the more of you that is likely to be left behind. 


We like ease, new is difficult. Many men will crawl through life never seizing upon certain opportunities that present themselves. Opportunity presents itself every day, even if you do not notice it. It’s amazing what you see when you look for it. These exciting and challenging gifts are often hiding behind obstacles, none being bigger than the human beings you call your friends and family. The friends you need by your side are those who encourage you to follow your dreams, not those who would prefer you to be loyal and stand by their side at the local pub being drawn into negative talk and small thinking. That is for their benefit, not yours. However, if you blame those around you for your faults, you must give them credit for your strengths.


The easy path is not the one that will produce life changing results, in fact it will not deliver results of any kind. Do not wish for it to be any other way, because it is not. I wasted many years wishing for life to be different, this did nothing but prolong the pain I was suffering. I ignored all of the loving advice I was given because I did not wish for change. At the time, change was more difficult than the pain of staying in my misery. 


When you raise your own standards and self care, and produce the same levels of love for yourself as you would your best friend you will start to notice better things appear in your life. When you do what is required, not what makes you feel good, you will move forward and open new doors. Not everything that feels good makes you happy. Excessive food, alcohol and drugs are perfect examples of things that produce short term happiness but long term suffering. When you follow the advice you would give your most loved ones you will start to love yourself more. This is the only way you will ever be happy. No expensive car or large house can replace this.


Take full responsibility. If social media is the devil, then spend less time with him. If the hangover leaves behind its paranoia then reduce your volume of alcohol. It is not normal to be unhealthy and unhappy, but we have come to accept this. 

Since when did we lower our standards to the point where we blame everything and everyone for the position we find ourself in rather than take responsibility for our own actions?  


Change will come to you when you are ready to change. The nudges from loved ones will not get you across the line, even if their intentions are pure. When you are prepared to rise, you will rise. 

Alex Myers